Disillusionment, fear, inability to cope, propaganda they can all contribute to ones journey to the dark side. As can extremism packaged as a path towards an reachable utopia. All play a part in a persons flight towards what they see as a better future when the reality is a future of crimes against humanity. No matter how one tries to spin it they choose the path they are on.
She calls herself 'Khadija.' It's not her real name, because she's a marked woman. Once a member of a fearsome, female ISIS brigade, she's a recent defector, disillusioned by the group's brutality.
Her interview with CNN is the first time she has ever told anyone her story.
'I ran away to something uglier'
Growing up in Syria, Khadija's family ensured she got an education. She earned her college degree and began teaching elementary school. Khadija describes her family and upbringing as "not overly conservative."
When the Syrian uprising began more than three and a half years ago, Khadija joined the masses who began peaceful protests against the government of President Bashar al-Assad.
"We'd go out and demonstrate. The security services would chase us. We'd write on walls, have different outfits to change into," she said. "Those days were great."
But it was when the Syrian uprising spiraled into chaos and violence that she said she began to lose her soul, her humanity.
"Everything around us was chaos," she said, her words tumbling out. "Free Syrian Army, the regime, barrel bombs, strikes, the wounded, clinics, blood -- you want to tear yourself away, to find something to run to.
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